Saturday, December 25, 2010

Toys, Sex, Love, and Security

A lot of people confuse the issue of toys with love and love with sex and sex with security. Toys are meant to be fun not your enemy. Love is not the same as sex. Nor should sex be traded for security. There are several kinds of love. There are also different kinds of sex as well as security and/or securities.

We must first define toys as an aid to our enjoyment not a hindrance. Many people are uncomfortable with toys as they believe they are being used against them, instead of them or because of them. Toys being used against or instead would be a kind of blackmail or I’ll use my toy instead etc… Many people used handcuffs, blindfolds, and other type of restraints. A lot of people do not. A lot of women use toys for self pleasure as do men use masturbation sleeves and Flesh lights. Some men even used prostate massagers and penis pumps which are also recommended by Doctors for penile dysfunction. A lot of women use lubricant, and numbing sprays for the throat to disenable the gag reflex. While others use numbing creams for anal sex and even masturbation sleeves as bumper pads for anal sex. 

Some women like to use glass dildos by themselves while others like to use their toys with their partner.
A lot of times we feel unloved and when a partner brings in a giant dildo or 15 speed vibrators with 4 different attachments we may feel unable to match up. This is where communication is needed. Where are we at in this relationship? Why are we in the relationship? Do we feel Mr. Rabbit or that stick of dynamite is our replacement? Games are a good beginning for couples to help communicate about sex, their feelings and how their actions may be viewed or how they view their own actions. Many times couples need to write out their feelings or even take roles and different names, costumes, lingerie, wigs. A lot of couples use different, roles as toys themselves and use costumes, wigs, lingerie, dance shoes, and even incorporate dance poles and sex swings into their sexual fantasy routine. Too many people forget we wear many hats. 

Our working hat is different than are parent hat which is different than our husband/wife hat which is of course different from our sexual or erotica hat. If you really fear something that is operated by batteries perhaps it is time you get your own toy and see what all the fuss is about. You might find a little about your mate, toys and even yourself.


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