Saturday, January 8, 2011

Virginity .......let's talk about it!



Where are we at today? In regard to SEX, ROMANCE, and  PASSION. Many of us are or were virgins; meaning of no experience in the ways, art and knowledge-or of experience. We have distractions of Porn stars, soap operas, Hollywood tabloids, sex coaches, books, magazines, and DVDs of every variety and every level imaginable.
We are born virgins yet are thrust into a world of experts and are expected to perform above expectations. Sometimes before grabbing the first book or DVD we are handed; without thinking twice. And often wonder if we are ready and can it really answer our questions. As a society we are flooded with tons of information and resources. Half of which we throw away, discount, refuse to acknowledge or read for fear someone might see us. We refuse to acknowledge that we an expert in one thing and a beginner in another. We brag about our prowess in front of our friends while we are basically scared straight when we are with our lover. We confuse sex with romance and romance with passion and know nothing at about true intimacy. We grab the biggest vibrator and laugh with our friends at the porn shop while inside were asking questions we dare not speak out loud. And who would we ask if we could? 



Elegant Pleasure Party Consultants bring education with them to their toy parties; education not received with XXX films, or provided by porn shop clerks. Virginity. The dirty word nobody wants to talk about. We even have billboards proclaiming; “Virgin” Is Not A Dirty Word” yet painted in red with blood dripping; sounds like bloody or dirty to me. As babies we all started out as a virgin so why is it thought of as so dirty?

A virgin is basic someone with no experience. 18 yr old or 50yr old virgins are in the thousands. Oral sex virgins, anal sex virgins, intercourse virgins, and even bungee jumping virgins. If we could only take the dirt out of virgin maybe we would feel better in talking about it.

Everyone has a first time no matter what age it happens. Many feel embarrassed at being a virgin. Everybody is a virgin at something at sometime in their life. Some take pride in their virginity; while some do not. Women used to be expected to be virgins when they were married and men were not. In old religious communities two virgins are expected to just do it on their wedding night even when they were just strangers just hours before. And show the blood to prove it. Or be disgraced with shame if they did not.


Let us talk about our virginity and embrace it. Let us talk about our bodies. Some people give their body parts names and some do not. Others like to walk around naked and our proud to strut their stuff while others do not and even undress in the dark or in cramped bathrooms. As we meet each other intimately, (intimacy is a lot more than just sex), on an emotional level and a mental one. 


We need to not just kiss and let our hands or tongue travel each others bodies; we need to also talk to one another. Tell each other what we call ours breasts, butts, or vagina and penis and how we feel about it. What we call it and when or where we like to bare it and how we like, desire and crave to be touched. How can we be expected to know turn you or even myself on if I am never allowed to be a “Virgin” and allowed to explore…. Bluntly how can I ever hope not to be a virgin if I am never allowed to be a “Virgin” without shame or malice?


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